Day retreat · Friday, December 18, 2026
Connective leadership
For those who lead and notice that directing yields less than it costs
Most leadership training courses provide you with yet another model. But your physiological state measurably influences the people around you — before you say a word. Presence is not a soft skill; it is the most fundamental leadership competency that exists.
This day is about how your presence shapes the space.
€450 per participant · incl. lunch and workbook · Utrecht region · max. 15 participants
The invitation
You do not lead with what you say. You lead with how you are.
Everyone knows the difference, even without having words for it. The meeting where one person enters and the air grows tense. The leader with whom people dare to be just a little more honest, without being able to say why. That difference is not in the words, not in the model, and not in the agenda. It lies in the state from which someone is present.
Nervous systems read each other — faster than thought can follow. Before you have spoken your opening sentence, every body in the room has already registered whether it is safe with you or whether they must remain vigilant. If you are in a state of alarm, the systems around you will follow suit: people defend, perform, hold back. If you are at rest, something else emerges — space in which people can think, doubt, and say what is truly going on. That is not a metaphor; it is physiology, and your team experiences it every day.
The uncomfortable truth about this fact: you cannot fake it. Acting calm while your system is tense is registered flawlessly — and actually undermines trust. The only way is from the inside out: first learning to know your own state, then learning what that state does to a space, and only then learning how to keep it available at the moments that matter.
On this day, we do not practice communication techniques and we do not hand out models. We work with the instrument itself — your presence — in a group small enough to truly feel its effect. Because that is the shortest summary of this day: connective leadership is not a style you learn, but a state you embody.
The way of working is the same for all three day retreats: exploring what the nervous system registers, tuning in to each other in a small group, and sharing what arises. That is the foundation of Transformational Presence, the methodology we work with throughout the day.
What you will explore this day
Four entry points, one instrument.
That instrument is you. Not a program to be completed — four movements that present themselves throughout the day, from the inside out.
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01
Recognizing your own state
Before you try to change someone else's. In what state do you enter a meeting, and what happens to it when things get tense?
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02
Reading the field
What is happening beneath the words, in the silence, in what remains unsaid. Your body already registers this; this day is about noticing it before it becomes a problem.
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03
Co-regulation
How calm and safety spread when the leader embodies them. Nervous systems tune in to each other — and in a team, the majority tunes in to the one who leads the way.
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04
Leading from presence
Instead of control: holding the space in which others can become who they are. What changes then is not what you say, but what can be said.
There will be no model and no action list. There will be the experience of a space that changes because you are present differently — and that is something you take with you, or you don't.
For whom
Fifteen people who carry others.
Not their function or their sector, but their position: people look to them, and what they bring partly determines what those people dare to say.
This day is for
- Directors, management, and team leaders.
- Those who notice that directing from above yields less than it costs.
- Those who feel that the real conversation takes place outside the meeting.
- Those who are employed and want to book this as a business expense — the invoice can be in the name of the organization.
And not for
- Those looking for a model or a communication technique — there are good training courses for that.
- Those who want their team to change without moving themselves.
- Those who want to work with the whole team; that requires a different format and goes through team coaching.
- Those recovering from burnout; in that case, Out of survival mode is a better fit.
If you prefer to work individually on how you lead, then leadership coaching is the more direct path. And if you are unsure if this day fits — give me a call. Ten minutes is usually enough to know.
The rhythm of the day
What happens that day.
A fixed format with a calm pace. Nothing is mandatory: there is always room to walk, be silent, or just observe.
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09:00
Arrival, tea, and silence
No introductory round, no handouts. You arrive, get tea, find a spot, breathe out. No one needs to introduce themselves by their job title.
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09:30
Landing in your own state
A quiet introduction to the work and to each other. A first exercise to feel in what state you entered — because that is the instrument you work with today.
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10:30
Morning — the state beneath the conversation
In pairs and in silence. What does your body register from the other person before anything is said? And what do you project yourself without knowing it? Guided exercises to learn to read the field that is already present in every contact.
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12:30
Lunch in silence
Simple and mindful. Finally a lunch where no one wants anything from you — and where you notice how much there is to hear when no one has to carry the conversation.
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13:30
Afternoon — co-regulation in practice
The deeper work. What happens in a group when one person is truly calmly present? We explore it not in theory but through experience: holding space, receiving without intervening, leading without pushing.
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15:30
Break with tea
Walking, sitting, reflecting. No obligations.
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16:00
Taking presence with you
How do you keep this state available in the Monday morning meeting, in the difficult conversation, at the moment everyone is looking at you? In a circle, for those who wish — you don't have to share anything you don't want to share.
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17:00
Closing
You go home with your workbook and with a physical memory of how it feels to give space instead of filling it. The weekend lies ahead of you — that is no coincidence.
Practical
What you need to know.
Date
Friday, December 18, 2026
09:00 – 17:00
Location
Utrecht region
exact location to be confirmed
Group
Maximum 15 participants — large enough to experience what your presence does to a group
Facilitation
Steven Stephania, together with an experienced co-facilitator
Investment
€450 per participant
Including lunch and workbook
Via the employer
The day falls on a Friday and is regularly paid for by the organization. The invoice can be in the name of your employer; please provide the details upon registration. If you request it, I will send a short description that you can forward.
Cancellation
Free of charge up to four weeks in advance. After that, you can transfer your spot to someone else, or move it to a subsequent day retreat.
Before you register
What people usually want to know.
Who else will be there?
A maximum of fifteen people who manage others: directors, management, and team leaders, from various organizations and sectors. There are no colleagues from the same organization in the same group — you do not explore your own state next to someone from your own organization. There is no introductory round where everyone mentions their job title.
Do I need prior knowledge?
No. This day is suitable for people who have never worked with this language before, and for people who have been involved with it for years. We do not work with theory that you must know, but with what is already present in every contact — and everyone brings that with them.
Is this therapy?
No. A retreat is not a therapeutic treatment and does not replace treatment. It is a day of exploration in a group, with facilitation that carefully frames what we do and do not do. If you are in therapy or have a mental health question, please contact me beforehand so we can see together if this day is appropriate at this time.
How intensive is the day?
The work goes deep, but the pace is calm. There is always room to withdraw, walk, or be silent. Nothing is mandatory. Presence cannot be forced; it arises when there is space — and that space is everywhere on this day.
What if I have trauma in my history?
Working with presence and the nervous system can bring unresolved experiences to the surface. For people with traumatic events in their history, a group retreat is not always the right first starting point. The work here is not trauma treatment. If you are unsure if this day fits at this moment, please contact me beforehand — we will look at it together, without obligation. Sometimes a 1-on-1 trajectory or professional therapeutic guidance is more appropriate first.
Can my employer pay for this?
Yes, that happens regularly. The day falls on a Friday and the invoice can be in the name of your organization; please provide the details upon registration. If you need something to present internally, please ask — I will then send a short description of the goal, duration, and investment that you can forward unchanged.
What should I bring?
Comfortable clothing in which you can sit and move well, and a warmer layer for outdoor moments — mid-December can be cold. Possibly a notebook. We will take care of the rest. One week in advance, you will receive a practical email with the exact location, parking, and any points of attention.
Is your question not listed? Feel free to call or email — that entails no obligation. And if it turns out that individual work is a better fit, I will say so.
Register now
Friday, December 18, 2026.
Fill in the form and you will receive a personal message within three working days with a confirmation and a payment link. Your spot is only final after payment — and until that moment you are not committed to anything.
€450 per participant · incl. lunch and workbook · max. 15 participants
Not ready yet? No rush.
- Out of survival mode — the next day retreat, Friday, February 19, 2027
- A conversation first — thirty minutes, free of charge, and no obligation
- Prefer individual — leadership coaching in a trajectory of ten sessions