Day retreat · Friday 20 November 2026
A day of slowing down
An introduction to the way of working from the book
A day without an agenda, in a group of fifteen at most. We do what The Sense and Nonsense of Being describes: looking, listening and feeling more slowly than the day usually allows — and noticing what becomes visible then.
No theme and no specific audience. This is the broad introduction; the other day retreats go deeper into a single subject.
The day is held in Dutch.
€225 per participant · incl. lunch and workbook · Utrecht region · 5 places remaining
The invitation
Slowing down is not a pace. It is a different way of looking.
The word suggests doing nothing, and that is not what happens here. A day of slowing down is not a day of rest: it is a day in which your attention stays with one thing longer than usual, and you notice how much there is to see in those extra seconds.
What we do is simple and not easy. Looking at what is there without immediately forming an opinion. Listening without already having the answer ready. Noticing what the body registers before the mind catches up. These are not techniques you learn, but movements you practise — and they only work if there is time for them.
That is why it takes a full day. Most people only notice after an hour or two that something settles: the shoulders, the breathing, the running ahead. A nervous system used to pace does not let go because you ask it to — it needs hours, and the presence of others doing the same. This cannot be arranged in an evening, and it is hard to do alone at home.
This day belongs with The Sense and Nonsense of Being. What the book describes, we do here — not as an illustration, but as a practice. You do not need to have read it; it helps, and it is nothing more than that.
The way of working is the same across all three day retreats: exploring what the nervous system registers, attuning to one another in a small group, and sharing what arises. That is the foundation of Transformational Presence, the approach we work with throughout the day.
What you will explore this day
Four entrances, one direction.
That movement goes from the outside in: from looking, which remains at a distance, to feeling, which cannot. We follow the structure of the book — four of the six gates, at the pace the day allows.
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01
Seeing without naming
What you notice when you look longer than necessary to recognize something. The gaze that scans and judges is fast; there is something behind it that is slower.
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02
Listening without an answer
Hearing is receiving; you cannot close your ears like your eyes. What happens when you listen without already having the answer ready — to sound, and to another human being?
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03
Smelling and tasting
The two senses that trigger something the fastest and receive the least attention. They work outside of thinking — and that is exactly why they are useful when thinking no longer moves you forward.
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04
Feeling what is already there
The body registers before the mind, and it holds onto what has not been spoken. The final movement of the day: turning attention inward, without having to do anything with it.
No method or exercise schedule will result from this. However, the experience of a day in which you perceived more slowly than usual will — and that experience can be recognized when it occurs again later.
The way of working is the same for all three day retreats: exploring what the nervous system registers, tuning in to each other in a small group, and sharing what arises. That is the foundation of Transformational Presence, the methodology we work with throughout the day.
For whom
Fifteen people with the same willingness.
Not the same question, not the same work, not the same stage of life. What they share is a willingness to solve nothing for a whole day — and to see what happens then.
This day is for
- Those who have read the book and want to experience what is in it.
- Those who are curious about this way of working without having a question yet.
- Those who notice there are few moments when the pace drops.
- Those considering a programme who first want to know how this feels.
This is the first edition of this day. The group is deliberately mixed: an entrepreneur beside someone in recovery beside someone who read the book. Ten of the fifteen places go to the book's waiting list.
And not for
- Those arriving with a concrete question that needs attention — individual coaching is the shorter path.
- Those working on how they lead — Connective leadership is the better fit.
- Those recovering from burnout — Leaving survival mode is meant for that.
Not sure whether it fits? Give me a call. Ten minutes is usually enough to know whether this is the day, or whether one of the other two suits you better.
The rhythm of the day
What happens that day.
A fixed shape at a calm pace. Nothing is compulsory: there is always room to walk, to be quiet, or simply to watch.
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09:00
Arrival, tea and quiet
No round of introductions, no handouts. You arrive, get tea, find a place, exhale. No one has to introduce themselves by what they do.
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09:30
Landing in the pace of the day
A quiet introduction to the work and to each other. A first exercise to notice how fast you came in — and what happens when nothing follows it.
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10:30
Morning — seeing and listening
The two senses that keep their distance. Looking at what is there without naming it straight away, and listening without already having the answer ready. In pairs, in silence, and outside if the weather allows.
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12:30
Lunch in silence
Simple and attentive — and an exercise in itself, because tasting is one of the four gateways. For most participants this is the moment the pace truly drops.
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13:30
Afternoon — smelling, tasting, feeling
The senses that come closer and receive the least attention. They work outside of thinking, which makes them useful at moments when thinking no longer gets you anywhere. Here the attention turns inward.
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15:30
Break with tea
Walking, sitting, letting it settle. Nothing is asked of you.
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16:00
What you take with you
Not as an intention but as recognition: how did it feel when the pace dropped, and how will you notice it the next time? In a circle, for those who want to — you do not have to share anything you would rather keep.
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17:00
Closing
A brief moment to let the day settle, and then goodbye. You go home with your workbook — and if you have the book, you will read it differently after this. The weekend lies ahead; that is no coincidence.
Practical
What you need to know.
Date
Friday 20 November 2026
09:00 – 17:00
Location
Utrecht region
exact venue to be confirmed
Places
Five available — the other ten go to the book's waiting list
Language
The day is held in Dutch
Guidance
Steven Stephania, with an experienced co-facilitator
Investment
€225 per participant
Lunch and workbook included
About the book
You do not need to have read The Sense and Nonsense of Being; the day stands on its own. The workbook is included in the price and holds the thirty exercises you can carry on with at home.
Cancellation
Free of charge up to four weeks beforehand. After that you can pass your place to someone else, or move it to a later day retreat.
Before you sign up
What people usually want to know.
Do I need to have read the book?
No. The day stands on its own and nothing is assumed. Those who have read the book will recognise the structure, and those who read it afterwards will recognise the day in it — but neither is needed to take part. You receive the workbook on the day itself.
In what language is the day held?
In Dutch. The exercises need language that lands without translation, and that is Dutch for this group. If you would like to do this work in English, get in touch — that is possible one to one.
Who else will be there?
Fifteen people at most, and the group is deliberately mixed: an entrepreneur beside someone in recovery beside someone who has read the book. That is different from the other day retreats, where the group shares one position. There is no round of introductions where everyone says what they do — precisely because it does not matter here.
Why a full day?
Because slowing down takes time you cannot shorten. Most people only notice after an hour or two that something settles: the shoulders, the breathing, the running ahead. A nervous system used to pace does not let go because you ask it to — it needs hours, and the presence of others doing the same.
Do I need any prior knowledge?
No. This day suits people who have never worked with this language before, and people who have been with it for years. We do not work with theory you need to know, but with what is present in the body — and that is already there in everyone.
Is this therapy?
No. A retreat is not a therapeutic treatment, it does not replace one, and it does not stand in for one. If you are on a waiting list or in treatment, this day is not an alternative. It is a day of inquiry in a group, with guidance that carefully frames what we do and do not do.
How demanding is the day?
The pace is calm, but there is work being done — this is not a day to recover. There is always room to step back, to walk, or to be quiet. Nothing is compulsory. What comes up may come up; what does not want to, does not have to.
What if I have trauma in my history?
Working with the nervous system can bring unprocessed experience to the surface. For people with traumatic events in their history, a group retreat is not always the right place to start. The work here is not trauma treatment. If you are unsure whether this day fits right now, get in touch beforehand — we will look at it together, without obligation. Sometimes one-to-one work, or professional therapeutic support, makes more sense first.
What should I bring?
Comfortable clothing you can sit and move in, and a warmer layer for the moments outside — late November can be cold. A notebook if you like. We take care of the rest. A week beforehand you receive a practical email with the exact venue, parking and travel time.
Not seeing your question? Call or email — there is no obligation. And if it turns out that one of the other days suits you better, I will say so.
Sign up
Friday 20 November 2026.
Five places are available; the other ten go to the book's waiting list. Fill in the form and you will receive a personal message within three working days with a confirmation and a payment link. Your place is final only after payment — and until then you are committed to nothing.
€225 per participant · lunch and workbook included · max. 15 participants · the day is held in Dutch
Not ready yet? No rush.
- Connective leadership — the next day retreat, Friday 18 December 2026
- A conversation first — thirty minutes, free of charge, and it commits you to nothing
- The book's waiting list — ten of the fifteen places go there, free of charge